What’s better/worse/more American than watching athletes burn calories while stuffing your face with the world’s unhealthiest foods? If you have missed this feeling since The Biggest Loser finale, worry no more! It’s baseball season again and the fryers are hot, just like the players on the field (because of the sun factor, because they are standing out in the sun, I mean).
For most of Major League Baseball’s 144-year history, hot dogs, peanuts, and Cracker Jacks were the only culinary options for fans. But these days, most big league stadiums offer an overwhelming assortment of dining options. So poke a new hole in your belt, grab a handful of Tide to Go’s, and work your way from the top of the first inning all the way to the gooey bottom of the 9th. And yes Smalls, you’ll want s’more.
Food lines at baseball games are only exceeded by the women’s bathroom line during the 7th inning stretch, so save some decision-making time by checking out our list of can’t-miss MLB munchies…
Boston | Boston Red Sox | Fenway Park | Lobster Roll
Maine lobster tossed with a mouth-watering mixture of butter, mayo, tarragon, sea salt, chopped celery, and chives, piled high on a New England-style hot dog bun. This sandwich is rumored to have been used in Pavlov’s conditioning experiment.
Dallas | Texas Rangers | Rangers Ballpark| Boomstick
To satisfy Texas-sized appetites, Rangers fans chow down on a one-pound hot dog (large enough for three or four people) that’s topped with the famous chili meat, sautéed onions, and cheese. You only wish this hot dog would go on FOR-EV-ERRR.
Denver | Colorado Rockies | Coors Field | Rocky Mountain Oysters
Clearly, not everyone will be willing to try these. But for those who do, you’ll be able to say that you’ve done something that few others have ever done—eat bull testicles while watching Troy Tulowitzki and the Colorado Rockies. #BALLIN
Houston | Houston Astros | Minute Maid Park | BBQ Stuffed Potato
Vendors in Houston stuff baked spuds with barbecue sauce, onions, cheese, jalapeño peppers and a generous serving of pulled pork. This dish has become so popular that scientists are working towards a crossbred hybrid potato that grows already containing these ingredients.
Los Angeles | Anaheim Angels | Angel Stadium | Halo Dog
Although this meal may not be kosher or blessed by any rabbi, it is still out of this world! Introducing The Halo Dog, a hot dog wrapped in bacon and covered in beans, cheese and pico de gallo.
New York | New York Mets | Citi Field | Box Frites
Frites are the big brother of the fried potato family. The brother who studied abroad, is fluent in three languages, and who roasts his own coffee beans. At Citi Field, you can have all this class in their box frites! They’re Belgian style long and straight fries served with delicious dipping sauces (bacon ranch and chipotle ketchup to name a few). Box Frites come in several iterations, too, like garlic parmesan and “disco” fries with gravy and cheddar.
New York | New York Yankees | Yankee Stadium | Prime Beef Sandwich
Yankee Stadium has almost as many tempting dining options as they have World Series trophies, but Lobel’s Prime Beef Sandwich outshines them all. The sandwich contains impeccably cooked and intensely flavorful tender cuts of beef on a soft onion roll, with the option of au jus and horseradish on the side.
San Diego | San Diego Padres | Petco Park | Carne Asada Fries
For a deliciously decadent taste of SD, dig into the Carne Asada Fries from the Bay View Grill. Imagine it: meaty, cheesy, guac-y goodness of classic nachos piled onto a heapin’ helpin’ of French fries. Close your mouth and stop drooling, you’re in public.
San Francisco | San Francisco Giants | AT&T Park | Cha Cha Bowl
The Cha Cha Bowl is a Caribbean creation made up of shredded pork with rice, beans and pineapple zucchini salsa. Have 1 OR 2 CHA CHA CHAs!
Seattle | Seattle Mariners | Safeco Field | Oyster Po’Boy
Given the proximity of SafeCo to Puget Sound, it’s only appropriate that the park’s most appetizing offering is seafood-related. This insanely good oyster po’ boy from Ethan Stowell’s Hamburg+Frites stand will probably not make you a po’ boy considering it’s reasonable price, but only if you pace yourself (easier said than done).
Washington DC | Washington Nationals | Nationals Park | Ben’s Chili Bowl
A branch of the famous storefront on U-Street visited by celebrities such as Bill Cosby, Larry King, and Chris Rock, Ben’s stand at Nationals Park serves up a mean chili bowl. Try this home run combination of sausage, chili, mustard, cheese and onions.
Don’t see your favorite baseball stadium snack? Call a foul and comment below!